Dan

Fuck

Thu, 19 May 2005 13:39:20 GMT

Long story short, I think I have to get surgery on my right shoulder again. I hate my life. I love my girlfriend with all my heart, and I hope she knows that.

"there comes a time, when your mind aint right, n you palm a luger..
and you get used to not bein used to.
i pray to god, to bring out the things i never knew i had in me
...the rest of my mom and dad in me.."

Good Deal.

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 15:46:26 GMT

Well, long story short. Me n heather broke up, n me and Amber got back together. Good move? Id say so. 'Cause Im as happy as Ive ever been. This time, we're together forever. Shes my world. And cant no one come between what we have. We've been through everything together. Yeah, people been talkin shit, n tryna pop off that nonsense. But aint nobody tryna do nothin. So fuck 'em. And Ambers ex nick, that she was with while we was apart, tryna talk that slick shit too. Little does he know, Ima knock his head off when I see him. But like I said, bitches talk that shit, but cant come between me and Amber. Shits goin so good. Both of us are happy. And Im likin life right now. No complaints. We're survivors, no more darker days.

"I love my babys mom to death, but she dont believe that.
Shit...I aint never there for her to see that.
Dont wana lose my shit, beggin her to do this bid.
Not jail time, but this relationship bizz.
And I know your family hates me, but we've come far.
Just us against the world, unarmed, me and my girlfriend."

Just a lil Joe Budden there. And my parents are going away in 4 days, to Tennessee for a week for vacation. Me and my sister are gettin left behind at home. But its gona be tight. I want Amber to try n stay the night at least once. But shes definitely gona have to come over almost every day. But thas all I feel like puttin in here right now. Amber I love you so much, you are my world, my everything. I dont know what Id do without you.<3. 011904 till Forever<3.

What The Fuck Bitch?

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 19:57:40 GMT

Straight up, you need to get the fuck up off my motha fuckin dick n let me be happy with my life. You know who the fuck you are. Go live your own life, n stop tryna be a part of mine. I aint got time for all your sob-story bullshit, n puttin me in your away msgs, me n my journal entries. Grow the fuck up, take youre own god damn advice, before I break youre fuckin jaw. Anymothafuckinway. Shits goin aight. I skated for the first time since surgery yesterday. Ill admit, my shoulder was kinda sore. I did fall a few times too. Fell right on my left ass cheek. God damn backslides. So today, I think Ima just chill. Prolly hang out with kyle, smoke some chron, n recooperate. I miss my heather, lots. I havent seen her in almost 2 weeks. I get to see her Thursday though. And I get to meet her mom, which should be cool. Cause her mom sounds like a nice person n all. I got alot of new music on my computer too. Lots of hot shit. Got the new DBlock mixtape the other day, Peer Pressure. Good stuff. I went to Ohio too. Like, a week ago. Me, Chelle, and Alex. We went to pick up this guy that Chelle knew. Hes pretty cool. All of us hung out all week. N he just left last night. He wasnt used to gettin high every day off 7-8 blunts, n then gettin drunk every night on top of that. So he said he was havin a blast. I dont feel like puttin any other shit in here, so maybe tomorrow Ill do another one, who knows. Pz.

WERD

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 04:24:27 GMT

I go out with Heather Dawn Marie now. Forget amber. I'm so happy with Heather. I have hella strong feelins for her, and I love em. Im totally happy right now. Long time, no entry. Get over it fools. Catch more entries later. Pz

End

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 22:34:38 GMT

Long story short, me and amber broke up. I'm heartbroken. End of story.

You had me from 'Hello'...

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 19:50:18 GMT

Rough past few days. Super bowl sunday, me n amber got into an argument about some things. Every time I think about what happened, and what I found, I just wana sit in a corner, cry, n never see the light of day again. It seems like the more I try to pull her close, the more she pushes me away. And I dont know if shes still talking to Amanda like that or not, or what. I just dont know. I love Amber to death. I even stopped bullshittin, n decided to go back to school n shit. I start around March 7th. She said she wouldnt leave me for Amanda. But then she said shes confused, and doesnt know. Then she said she didnt want to be serious. But I dont want to throw away everything we have. She asked me what we would be throwing away if we broke up. I couldnt even say anything. All I could think was...just everything. Every day that we've been together. Every thing we've ever done together. Everything we've said to each other. All of that. Just gone. I don't know what Id do if I lost her. Shes my everything. She said she loved Amanda, n caught feelings for her quick. But I dont want her to lose her feelings for me. Cause it seemed like things were going fine. It seemed like we started trusting each other again. And sitting here this whole time, Ive been trying not to cry. Clenching my teeth harder and harder each time. Squeezing my fists as hard as they can go. And just as I started typing this, my eyes started to tear up. But I clenched my jaw. I dont want to cry anymore. I want things to be the way they were. When we were happy. I want to be us again. Amber Nicole MacDonald, I love you so much. 01/19/04 til Forever<3. Every night, I pray to god that he help me. Sometimes I think he doesnt care. So god, if you can hear me, or see me, or anything, please, help me. Don't let this happen to me. She means too much to me to just let go. I already let her slip away once, I wont let it happen again..

Been A Long Time

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 19:18:12 GMT

Been a long ass time since I did an entry in here. The longest ever. Lots of changes have taken place in my life. Me and Amber are back together. We got back together a lil while before Christmas. Celebrated our 1 year anniversary on Jan 19th. N here we are today. We're doin just fine. And I cherish our relationship even more now, because we were apart, and when we were, my life was hell, and I dont want that to happen again. I never want to lose her. But onto some other things, haha. I have to get surgery on March 10th, on my right shoulder. I tore some of my labrum muscles off my rotator cuff. Its the muscles that hold your shoulder to your rotator cuff. So after the surgerys done, Im gona immobile for about 6 weeks, cause Im not gona be able to move my whole right arm. But after the 6 weeks is over, I have to go through 2 months of Physical Therapy. But mom said I can still drive her truck to get around and stuff so I wont be cooped up in the house 247. Most of the time Ill probably be at ambers anyway. I got the computer in my room now too. Switched my room all around, took my couch out. Its alot more roomier now. Sux I cant get a job really though. But we're supposed to be getting nice new carpet this week, and the guy whos doing it, said he'll let me help for a month or so, even though I gotta get surgery. So thats another good thing. And my boy kyle needs a job too, so when I have to leave to get surgery, Im gona see if he'll let kyle fill my spot, since kyle has more of a background in labor work n shit, cause he used to do carpentry and shit. Ive had alot of jobs, but none were like installing carpet. I had a job at Sunoco for a lil while, then they fired me cause they thought I was stealin money, which was bullshit. Cause if I was stealin money, you would've noticed. But anyway. Shits goin alright for me lately. My boy chris, who I roll with, just got a job for Be-Mag.com, interviewing skaters in the midwest and shit, n takin pictures n shit. So he told me hes gona work on that for a little bit, then by the time hes done a couple interviews, itll be skatin season again, and I'll be healed and ready to skate again. So that means we're gettin the fuck outta here. No more little shit. Go hard or go home. We were debating on having a crew name or whatever, cause we are a crew, we all roll n shit, but I was like Fuck that chris, we roll 302, n thats it. Fucka name. Rep your city to the fullest. So thats what we're gona do. And I been writin a lil more lately too. I just came up with some hot shit a few days ago. Im still workin on it. I changed my name again, Nes(s). Or nessoner, whatever. It says NES, with a Spade, Heart, Clover, and a Diamond, next to it. It looks hot so far. Just been tryin to think of some new styles to do. I also got some new skates for Xmas too. The Haffey 04ones. All white, 300 dollar skates. I was very pleased. But anyway, onto other shit. Im gettin in the shower, then shavin, gettin dressed, and rollin to my babys house. I love you so much Amber Nicole. 011904, forever n ever<3.

bleh..;[

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 06:56:56 GMT

me n amber broke up today...;[...i love her..forever and always..but we're still gona be best friends...<3.

Tables Turn

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 19:02:05 GMT

"Hush little baby dont you cry, everythings gona be alright. Stiffen up that upper lip baby. I told ya, your mans here to hold ya through the night" - Eminem - Mockingbird

Time for shit to change. No more fuckin up. Time to lock down and get straight. I love you amber, more than you can imagine. 01.19.04, best day of my life.

Errr..

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 00:38:07 GMT

"Kidnap your kids from your bitches place. Duct or electrical, we use all different types of mixtape" - Celph Titled - Turntable Science

Been a long ass time since I updated this damn thing. Lot of shit has happened. I got a new truck, got a new job at Value City, got alot new music, and of course Im still with my baby Amber. Ive gotten better at skating too. I went to philly for my birthday with my friend Alex. That was a blast. But yeah, about my new truck. I still got my old one. The new one is a 1996 Ford Ranger with full air ride, 16 inch rims, tv monitor, ps2, 1 10 inch Memphis sub and a pioneer amp, primer gray, maroon red dash, tweed bucket seats. Shits pretty nice. Ive been writin every now and then. I changed my name too. I like this name the best. I got a phat handstyle for it, and some nice throwies. Other than that, Ive been workin, skatin, and hangin out with my baby ;]. Ever since I got this job, we havent been seein each other that much, because shes got school durin the day, then she works at night, and I work at night sometimes. But its working out fine now, cause Ive got the next 3 days off, so Im gona spend all my time with her, cause shes everything to me. Every time I see a movie or somethin where theres a couple, and they break up or somethin, or something tragic happens to them, I all tear up and stuff, because I dont ever want that to happen to us. I dont even know what Id do without her. We get in arguments every now and then, but its mostly because I fuck up sometimes, but I think Ive been doin better. We've been together 10 months as of October 19th. It doesnt even seem like that long. I cant get enough of that girl. Shes so perfect. Whoever reads this, just has no idea man. Love is one of the greatest feelings ever. Love will knock you off your feet, and be the ground beneath your feet at the same time. Now that I've found the girl I love with everything in me, Im gona do everything in my power to never ever lose her. Shes my world. Shes made me so happy the past 10 months, and I cant repay her enough for it. Amber Nicole MacDonald, I love you so much<3.

Everytime our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time everytime
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

[01.19.04 til forever]

Shit..

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 16:10:23 GMT

"In savoring sleep, what do you mean I toss and turn everywhere? Ill miss you when youre gone. Pretending that you werent the world to me.." - Coheed And Cambria - Neverender

Well I havent put an entry in here for a long ass time. Basically to sum up the time period from the last entry, to this one now, in a few words; Roller fucking Coaster. Its had its good times and its had its bad times. The good times. Ah those good times. Skating, and spending all of my time with amber. I been seeing her like everyday for the past month n a half. Its awesome. I love spending time with her. Im so happy when Im with her. She doesnt even know how much I love her. But then..theres the bad times. Work has been sucking alot lately. Earlier today, my mom was bitching about me spending my paycheck n stuff. Cuz I somefuckinghow owe them 220 dollars for some bogus phone bill. And my trucks about to fucking fall apart. Fuck that piece of shit. Sorry for all the cursing amber, I dont like my truck right now. ;\ So yeah. Onto some more good things. I quit smoking weed. Ive quit for about a month now. Maybe a lil more I think. Everyones always like, "oh yeah its not that easy to quit blahblah youll start again blahblahblah." Well, if youre not addicted, and youre not a pothead, like me, its apparently not that hard to quit. This new cat moved to Smyrna from West Chester. Hes a blader too. His names Pete. Hes pretty good actually. We skate all the time. I introduced him to the crew. (ie; al, chris, josh, doug) Everybodys cool wit him n stuff. I also showed him some spots around dover. Like the DHigh ledge, he loves that ledge. Same with the Metro rails. See, there is some good things about dover. We stumbled across these flat rails at the Smyrna Library, like 2 weeks ago, too. Theyre sweet as hell. But anyway. Im not gona be able to see Amber today. Im sad. :-( Its cuz my damn trucks probably gona fall apart. And mom said I have to stay home for a lil and do some things. But by the time I "do some things" amber will have to go to work. No matter what anyone says, I dont care if she lives 30 mins from me, every time I get to see her, its worth the while. I wouldnt care if she lived 45 mins away. Id make it work. Its worked for 6 months 3 weeks and 1 day. Im definitely not gona screw this up. Im in love, and it feels great. I wont let ANYTHING get in the way of me and amber being together. I Love her to death. Shes my everything. I may say some stuff over and over to her. But I cant explain how much I love her, and how much she means to me. To me, its like..when you know someone means so much to you, even the thought of not being with them makes you cry. And the thought of us not being together, just makes me sad. Even when I dont get to see her for a day or two, I get all sad and stuff. All I can say...is..Amber, I Love You, and you mean the world to me. I dont ever want to lose you. I Love You.

Hey there
I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all
Where you are and how you feel
Put these lights off as these wheels
keep rolling on and on
(And on and on and on)
Slow things down or speed them up
You're running now for way too much
(And on and on and on)
Or you are not gone

And I can't make it on my own
(And I can't make it on my own)
Because my heart is with you

So cut my wrists and black my eyes
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonite and die
Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well
You like it too, and I can tell
You never stop until my final breath is gone

Spare me just three last words
"I love you" is all she heard
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever

There you are

I Love You Amber...

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 17:43:12 GMT

"Some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered..some of gods greatest gifts are all too unanswered.." - Garth Brooks - Unanswered Prayers

Yeah, its country nigga, fuck you. Anyway. I just felt like doin a journal entry before I got in the shower. I just wanted to say some stuff. Hopefully she'll read this. Iunno, today it just felt like amber was mad at me for some reason. She probably isnt..but I dont know. I love you so much amber. More than anything in the whole world. I really dont ever wana lose you. Not ever. I know you probably get tired of me askin whats wrong and stuff, and get tired of alot of the shit I do sometimes, but I just want you to know I love you, and I always will. These have been the happiest 5 months of my life, all because of you. I dont know what Id do without you. Youve probably heard me say this stuff millions of times before...but I cant even explain how much I love you. Youre the most beautiful girl ever. Youre so perfect. I couldnt ask for a better wifey. I know you get mad sometimes cause I go out n party sometimes..but Im always thinking about you. Youre always on my mind. The thought of losing you...just makes me wana cry. I honestly cant see myself without you. I dont know how else to explain it...I dont even wana be with anyone else..I just wana cry sometimes...cause I get scared as hell when youre pissed at me...I just hope you dont ever leave me. Cuz I know for a fact I wont EVER leave you...not for anything. I just want you to know how strongly I feel about you...my feelings wont ever change...I love you with all my heart ambeR nicoLe. Forever n always. Thank you for coming into my life..Im so thankful to be with you. Whenever I hear those 3 words come from you...Im in the best mood I could ever be in..I Love You So Much...<3333..

I don't take my whiskey to extreme,
I don't believe in chasing crazy dreams,
my feet are planted firmly on the ground,
but darlin' when you come around

I get carried away, by the look, by the light in your eyes
before I even realize the ride I'm on, and baby I'm long gone
I get carried away, nothing matters but bein' with you
like a feather flyin' high up in the sky on a windy day
I get carried away

It might seem like an ordinary night,
same old stars, the same old moon up high
but when i see you standin' at your door
nothin's ordinary anymore..

I love you with all my heart ambeR nicoLe. Dont ever forget that..<33333333333...

Whoa

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 14:43:21 GMT

"Im comin back, the more things change, the more I stay the same." - Reveille - Comin Back

Long ass time no entry mufuckas. I been workin a fuckin LOT. Every mufuckin day basically. We got rid of 3 people the other day too. One of them was my boy, Alex. But he never called to let us know where he was at n he wasnt comin in, he just never showed. So yeah. Quick entry before I GO TO WORK. Whats new, ya know? Im going to ambeRs after work. WOO! I love amber so much. ;D Her birthday was thursday. ;] I still gotta give her her present, but I cant until I get my license back, because it involves...driving..n stuff. Yeah, cant say. ;x But I hope she likes it. Heidi helped me think of it kinda. She gave me some ideas. Also. I talked to Tre from Boyz N Toyz. Once I get my truck lowered, n get the interior done, Im gona try and get in. Or I might start my own club. Who knows. I owe my rents 200 bucks. For my cell phone bill n still some shit from the NY trip, and my fuckin seatbelt ticket. Well damn. Its boosheet. I ordered my freestyle frames wednesday. Got 3 day delivery. Theyll be here Monday. Nice. Thats all I gotta say. Maybe Ill do an entry when I get home from ambeRs. Who knows! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AMBER NICOLE!! pz!

tell me what i'm supposed to feel because i can't feel this
sick and tired and it's all the same-
same shit, different day, all day, every day
wish you were perfect?
well welcome to your fifteen minutes of fame
come get it well it's hot- you want it, we got it, come get it now
can you feel me now?
tell me how i'm supposed to feel for you when all you do is hold me down?
told me i'm nothing, well tell me what your thinking now
so back off -
never more alone than all alone
i don't know where the hell i am
but they say there's a price to pay for asking questions
so i'm guessing and ending up where i began

i never got a second look before now
i was the one that you'd ignore
now turn yourself inside out
come on-
can you feel me now?

tell me what i'm supposed to feel because i can't feel shit
hollowed out and you wonder why?
"too much, not enough, slow down, pick it up"
genuine adrenaline keeping me high, so high
so walk your walk, talk your talk,
but as far as i can see-
on the inside out your bout as ugly as me
'cept now i'm fit to knock you down
told me i'm nothing?
tell me what your thinking now
so back off-
tell me what i'm supposed to feel for you
turn yourself inside out,
take a closer look inside-
i think that you deserve yourself

title match, main ring-
no time to rethink,
you swim or you sink-
you want it, we got it, come get it

i Love you so much ambeR nicoLe. forever n ALWAYS<333333333333333333333333333333!

Agghh

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 14:27:52 GMT

"I dont know where I will go. I dont know. I dont know. I dont know if I will cut through. I dont know. I dont know if my heart will beat without you." Thursday - Wind Up

So yeah, I havent put an entry in here in a week or two. Ive been workin ALOT lately. Workin a lil too much. Cause I havent seen ambeR since sunday. Which makes me mad. Because Ive got a suspended license for a month because the DMV fucked me over. Assholes. But my moms gona take me up there n stuff so theres no problem. This thursday Im doin the interior of my truck in zebra fuzz. And Ive decided Im gona paint my truck a nice smooth sleek shiney black. And Im gona put some nice ass chrome 18s on it. And put them spinners on it. Todays wednesday, and I get paid today. But I also gotta work today. Fuck that sucks. Oh well, Im gettin paid. So its all good. Ambers birthday is in like 7 days. Im still tryna figure out somethin to do. Ive got a few ideas. But Im not gona say them in here because she reads this and I dont want her to know! But its cool. I miss her so much. :-( Im getting a new pair of skates too. The RB Franky Morales'. Theyre like 300 bucks. Cause I wana get the custom ones. So thats THIS paycheck out the window. Next one is gona be FAT so its ok. I got Anthony Velez's number too the other day. One of the filmers whos all over lots of skate videos. He wants us to get up with him at the ECTSC4 July 10th. He said theres a cheap hotel by his crib we could stay at n chill with him n his crew. He said if we're good enough, he'll let film with us and stuff. So if that happens, we'll blow the fuck up. Cause I know we all can do some hot shit. But we'll see what happens. We got so much shit going on with skating. All these trips and shit. Right now my life is fucking awesome. Ive got the best girl I could ever have, some of the best friends ever, a job, n money. Life is good. I was talkin to ambeR the other day about bein with her forever and stuff and havin a family with her. Man I cant wait till that day when we maybe move in together or something. Or have a baby or somethin like that. Id be the happiest person alive. Id do anything for that girl. Shes the love of my life! I dont ever wana leave her. Not for ANYONE. I wana be with her FOREVER. Alright, thats all for now. Im gona go wait for my baby to wake up. I love you ambeR nicoLe<333333333333333333.

all he could think about was
im too young for this
ive got my whole life ahead
hell im just a kid myself
how'm i gona raise one?

all he could see were his dreams
going up in smoke
so much for ditching this town
hangin out on the coast
oh well those plans are long gone
and he said

there goes my life
there goes my future
my everything
might as well kiss it all goodbye
there goes my life

a couple years of up all night
n a few thousand diapers later
that mistake you thought he made
covers up the refridgerator
oh yeah he loves that little girl

mamas waitng to tuck her in
as she fumbles up those stairs
she smile back at him
draggin' that teddy bear
sleep tight
blue eyes and bouncing curls

and he smiles
there goes my life
there goes my future
my everything
i love you, daddy good night
there goes my life

she has that Honda loaded down
with that Abercrombie clothes
fifteen pairs of shoes
and his American Express
he checked the oil slammed the hood
and said You're good to go
she hugged them both
and headed off to the West Coast

and he cried
there goes my life
there goes my future
my everything
i love you
baby good bye
there goes my life

there goes my life

baby good bye...

i love you so much ambeR nicoLe. you are my world, my everything, my life. i love you with all my heart<333.

Well Damn

Wed, 26 May 2004 14:08:52 GMT

"This is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart." Alexisonfire - .44 Caliber Love Letter

Ok so I got court tonnight at 7pm for my no seatbelt ticket. Im praying to god they dont go harsh on me. Im also pickin amber up from school today, and supposedly fighting her friends boyfriend Sleepy. I really shouldnt be fighting anyone with the situation Im in, since Ive gotta go to court 4 hours after I pick amber up. Iunno what Ill do. Anyway. I get paid today too. Its not gona be much cause I only worked a few days last week cause I just started, but still. I went over Ambers house yesterday<3. I stayed till like 10. It was pretty fun. Her friend katie was there. It was stormin real bad before I left. We walked to McDonalds when I got there too and got some food. I was hungry as shit. I dont really have anything to put in here. I woke up all early because Im paranoid about court tonight and what will happen. Im about to say Fuck Sleepy, and deal with his ass another time. Cause Tim said he wanted to fight someone last night. And I told Tim to come to middletown to get a piece of Sleepy if he wanted. Hes supposed to be callin my cell at 5 when he gets off work or whatever. Thats all I really feel like puttin in here. Pz.

I tried to save us
but little did I know
you are a speeding train off track
with little time to go

I tried everything
tried so hard to let you know
but now I'm on my last thread
pulling away to know I'm real

yeah, now it's our time
and now it's our time
and I'll see you on the otherside

beneath your skin
there's another side to you
you build up city walls
so I never get through
you build up city walls
so I can never get through

yeah, now it's our time
and now it's our time
and I'll see you on the otherside

i Love you so much ambeR<3333333333333333333.

IMYTA, Brooklyn NY

Mon, 24 May 2004 18:59:15 GMT

"What a day what a day, just sit out shootin the breeze all day." - Nonpoint - What A Day

IMYTA, Brooklyn NY, John Dewey High School. Phattest shit Ive seen in a while. It was fucking mind blowing. We got in Brooklyn around 4ish. Got our hotel shit straight, then we walked around n checked out our surroundings. Then we got some chinese food and chilled in the hotel room the rest of the night to get ready for the IMYTA the next day. So sunday rolls around and Alex wakes everyone up at 6am. Everyones ready by 730ish. So me and Doug decide to throw on our skates and roll around BK for a lil while. Well we found this set of 6 steps, with a bank next to it, and this weird lookin water fountain. We sessioned there for about 30-45 mins. Then went back to the hotel and ordered ourselves some breakfast. Then we all packed up our shit and checked out. Then we went to the spot for the IMYTA. We got there early and there wasnt many people there. But around 11 people started pouring in. We parked next to Iain McLoed and Rachard Johnson. It was fuckin crazy. There was so many pros there just walkin around chillin. Rachard Johnson, Iain McLoed, Jeff Stockwell, Brian Argon, Vinnie Minton. Fuckin crazy. We saw some crazy ass shit too. I stole the Brooklyn phone book from our hotel too, lol. Well before the final round rolled around. Me and Alex rolled to the back of the school to see what they had set up. Well when we got back there, it was a ramp to rail to concrete road divider set up. And this one guy was back there with us, who won the semi finals at the IMYTA at Montreal the year before. And he was doin royales on it. Shit was pretty phat. Then one of the cops came out, and one of the event staff and we started talkin with them. Then 2 other skaters came and we were all chillin. Then more kids started rollin back there. Soon enough all you could see was skaters rollin around the corner. I saw like 2 skateboarders. Who has the nerve to bring a skateboard to the IMYTA? Im surprised he didnt get beat up or something. Anyway. Brian Argon ended up winning the IMYTA and getting 1500 dollars cash. Someone else got like 500 for best trick, I forget who. Then before we left we went to the store to get some drinks and stuff. And I was talkin to another skater and hes like, "Oh shit its chris haffey." And I turn around, and Haffey is standing there with his girl. And the guy I was talkin to is like "you got a pen? anyone got a pen1?!?!!?" Lol, I was laughin. I just said whassup, got my drinks, n left. Brooklyn is so fucking awesome. Theres graffiti everywhere. I met a few writers while I was up there too. I was chillin with Repo. He stopped me on the way back from getting my drinks, and was like "Do you write?" And I said yeah. Wondering how he knew. And he was just like "What do you write? cause you look like a writer." I was like "Clone, but Im not from around here, Im from Delaware" And he was like, "Oh thas cool, Im Repo, go check my shit out on the trains around here. Ill see ya later man." It was pretty cool. So then I went back to the car. And thats when I realized we parked next to Iain McLoed and Rachard Johnsons van. So we got word that everyone was going to Times Square for a skate demo or something. Everyone wanted to go since it was prolly gona be our last time in NY for a while. But Chris didnt wana go, cause he thought we would get lost, but we all knew we wouldnt. So we just said ok chris, whatever, and left and went home. So overall, the trip was the fucking shit. I just wish Amber coulda went with us. I think she woulda had fun. I missed her alot. Hopefully I get to see her today. I got my schedule today too for work. I have off all week except friday, saturday, and sunday. I work 11-8 at the pool friday and saturday, then I gotta work 3-close in the kitchen sunday night. So that should be fun. Im gona try n spend as much time with Amber this week as I can. Cause I havent seen her in a while, like a week. Except for before I went to NY, but I only saw her for like an hour. And I didnt see her like 3 days before that. So yeah. I miss her so fucking much. I love that girl to death. She means so much to me. Hopefully maybe next time we go outta state or something, she'll be allowed to go. Thatd be fun as shit. But thats all I feel like puttin in here. Pz.

your eyes were covered in sunglasses
when they first met mine
i sat there and stared at you
you didnt seem to mind
the awkward ways we meet...

first comes heavy breathing
staring at the ceiling
what will happen next
i dont wana know
i dont wana know...

i never cared how i dressed before
but i cared that night
anticipation ran through my bones
and my clothes never fit right
i cant wait till we meet again...

framed pictures start to be put on the walls
constant visits while im out on the road
its hard to leave sometimes
but you know where i lay my head at night..

i love you so much amber<333333333333333.

Sad..

Fri, 21 May 2004 12:39:18 GMT

"And it feels like Ive already been there. It sounds like a breach in the choir. It looks like it wont work. Im the one, the one to look down." - New Found Glory - Doubt Full

I got the new New Found Glory cd yesterday. Its pretty good. Anyway. The reason Im up at 8 fucking 30 is because my dentist appointment that my mom forgot to wake me up for. So I gotta wait till 10:15 to go in now. Anyway. I started work yesterday. First day, workin from 3-10. By myself. Except I was with Bill. When I got there this guy Duff showed me what to do and all this shit. Duffs pretty cool. Hes an older guy but hes chillin. All I did was wash dishes, mop shit, n put dishes away n take the trash out. For 7 hours. I was pissed because I thought I was just going to get trained for a few hours. But instead I worked till 10. And closed up with Bill too. I wanted to see Amber as much as possible before I go to NY. But since I worked yesterday, and I gotta work the same hours today...I cant. And that pisses me off. So I think saturday before I go to NY, Im gona get up early and go up and see her. Even if its for an hour or two. Im really tired. And I dont feel like going to the god damn dentist and I dont feel like going to work. The thing I used to spray off the dishes with shoots out boiling hot fuckin water n burns the shit outta my hands sometimes. Bill works the same hours wit me tomorrow too. So that should be fun. I just hope I dont gotta do dishes all day again. Thats all I feel like putting in here. I got bored and was reading Ambers away msg and was reading her journal, and decided to do mine. Bye.

Tonight its very clear
As were both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say

I will always love you
I will never leave you alone

Sometimes I just forget
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying

I don't want to lose you
I could never make it alone

Cause I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that your dreamin of
Gonna live forever
knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

You keep me standin tall
You'll help me through it all
I'm always strong when your beside me

I have always needed you
I could never make it alone
1 2 3 4!

Cause I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that your dreamin of
Gonna live forever
knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

Just like your knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I'll save the day
Take you to my castle far away
Yea!

i love you so much amber<33333333333333333333....

What The Fuck

Thu, 20 May 2004 15:18:04 GMT

"These are my fears. I fear, that you still hate me. Youre thinkin of me. I fear that I still dont know. I feel so low now." - Ill Nino - If You Still Hate Me

Man last night I had such a fucked up dream. It sucked so fucking bad. It was about me and amber. We were on this big ass cruise ship. And we were doin fine. Then she called me and said she didnt wana be with me. And I asked why. And she kept sayin cause she didnt like me anymore and there was another guy. And when I asked who, she wouldnt say. So I got all loud and was flippin out and breakin shit. And was screamin at her asking who it was. Then we got back to my house and I had a party. And I kept yelling at her asking why and who the other guy was. Cause we were on my porch. And I just kept getting in her face and asking her why. There was so much detail in it. Like there was mad cars in the driveway. Lots of people around. It was the loudest Id ever screamed. I cried too. I was so pissed off I guess. I was just freakin out askin everyone if they knew who it was. Then I woke up. It was so fuckin horrible. I hope that shit doesnt ever happen for real. Id wig the fuck out. It was a really bad dream. I hate havin dreams like that. Well yesterday I went over Ambers house. And before I went over there me and josh had gotten up earlier in the day and chilled the whole day. We hotboxed 2 blunts in my truck by Dover Downs. Then I went over ambers. I felt bad going over there when I was high, because I dont like being around her when Im high cause I know she doesnt like it. And then she asked me what I did today and I said "skated.." Cause in which I did. But I thought she knew I got high, so I didnt feel the need to say it. But she thought I lied to her and we kinda got into a heated conversation sorta. But then we talked it over. And everything was ok. I have been cutting back actually. I dont smoke NEARLY as much as I used to. Well today I gotta go into work to get trained. Same with tomorrow. Then saturday we leave for New York at 1. Then we come back sunday night. I cant fucking wait. Shits gona be awesome. Hopefully after I get outta training today I can go over Ambers house. I really want to. I love her so much. I honestly dont know what Id do without her. I love you baby.<333.

i see who you are and who else can compare
i meant what i said, i promised to stand by your side
until the end, that’s where we begin
from here to eternity we begin understanding
it is our hearts that define what has meaning in life
some will ask how can this be
but it was you who made me feel

i love you so much amber..<333333333333333333..

Thas Whassup

Tue, 18 May 2004 01:21:17 GMT

"This is a 44 caliber love letter straight from my heart" - Alexisonfire - 44 Caliber Love Letter

Ight this entry is gona be about some shit. First off. New York is this weekend. I was thinking about how shits gona go this weekend. I know Im gona miss amber alot and Im gona be callin her every 5 mins n tellin her i love her. But I dont wana bug. You know. Today was a very very fun day. I got a new layout to my LJ as you mother fuckers can see. Thanks to CASSAFRASS<3. Shes the bestest. Shes a good friend. Cool gal. Anyway. Today me Alex n Jamie skated 711 ledge, Metro rails, metro ledge, and the Prudential parking lot. I was bustin cess slides across the prudential parking lot that were like 4 and 5 parking spaces long. It was fun as shit. I was supposed to pick Amber up from school today but she didnt go. And that means I didnt get to see her. Which sucked. But Im picking her up tomorrow. :D Shes the fuckin best man. Im always happy when Im around her. I read her LJ a lil bit ago when I got home and it said some shit about she gets kinda mad when I smoke. But actually come to think of it, I havent smoked in 4 or 5 days. And usually I smoke every day. I just been cutting back I guess. I feel the same way kinda about her drinking. But Ima let her have freedom, ya know? I aint gona be like YOU GOTTA QUIT DRINKING. Cause that would be fucked up. Im gona have to get drunk with her sometime. That would be fun. Its almost our 4 months. And her birthday is a month away today. So June 17th is gona be special. I already got ideas. For like when I take her out. Its gona be phat. Tomorrow we're gona try to go to Philly(me and alex and chris maybe). This is the part where I just ramble on about stupid stuff that no one cares about. Today was a very good skate day. I did some nice stuff. I think my two main focuses in life, are skating, school, and of course amber. Bein wit her helps me through alotta stuff. Shes always there<3. I love her to death. Shes fuckin perfect. Couldnt ask for better. Shes the one I wana be with forever(back to talking about amber). I dont even wana be with anyone else. Thats all I feel like puttin in here. Ill prolly do some more shit in a few days before I go to New York. I think Im gona put a rap song in here too. Pz now.

Models and dimes, ugly hoes follow inside
Proud of my dick and mad chicks swallow my pride
Getting head jobs from strippers
Twisted off the eggnog and liquor, a big dog like Clifford
Melt gimmicks every time I spit
With rhymes like crowds in health clinics cause every line is sick
I squeeze clips at each clique
To see how they deal with heat when I put them under arms like speed stick
Please bitch, with metal to your frame
I rep the C. O. nonstop, it's the first two letters of my name
Competitors are slain by this intelligent gunner
Quick to pop the trunk like an elephant hunter
And you might be upset, your dad and I got something in common
Your mom kissing both our babies right before bed
And like me or not, bitch I'm 'bout to light me a spliff
So any shit you got to spit I'll more than likely forget

i love you so much amber<333333333333333333333333333333

Set The Stage

Fri, 14 May 2004 01:42:39 GMT

"Set the stage. Terrifying serenity. Which one of us will fall first" - Anatomy Of A Ghost - Set The Stage

Well today I went over Ambers house for the first time in like a week. It was pretty fun. She called heidi to come over like a half hour after I got over there. Then we all chilled. Then they had a water fight. And amber was soaked, and she hugged me, lol it was coo tho. I was kinda wet too. She looked DAMN sexy too. Yikes. But yeah. Tomorrow Im pickin her up from school. And we're gona have a water fight hopefully. She said I was talkin weird tonight, but Im just in a good mood thats all. After I left her house I got up with Josh. I skated the ledge across from Sunoco. And some old bastard tried to hit me after doing my fishbrain. Then he started bitchin at me, sayin "Get the fuck outta here." I told him to ask nicely and Ill leave. Then he got out and got in my face. Then Josh saw that, and got up and was like, Yo you needa back the fuck up before you get fucked up. If he woulda touched me I woulda whaled on his fuckin ass. Then he asked nicely and I left. Simple as that. Josh found his old skates, so hes gona get back into skating too. Hopefully he can MAYBE come to new york with us in a week or so. Also, I went to court today for speeding through Ambers neighborhood. I got 4 charges, they dropped 3 of them. So I was left with 1, Speeding Exhibition. So yeah. The judge kept askin me some shit about smokin weed and shit. I was like man fuck outta here with that shit. He said some shit about a juvenile detention center for a year if I fuck up again. Too late. I gotta go to court the 26th for my seatbelt ticket. They're probably gona suspend my license for 6 months. I hope thats all they do. I would be happy even if they put points on my license and jacked up my insurance. Today was basically fuckin crazy. Good and bad day. Bad cause of court, good cause I got to see amber. I gotta pick josh up from work all early tomorrow mornin, like 9 somethin, shits crazy. Oh well, hes givin me gas money so its all good. Then Im pickin amber up from school, and Im gona chill with her for a while. :D Thats all. Peace mother fuckers..

Bricks show through white textured walls
Screaming their story with such empty hospital feel
So dull
Unforgiving floor
Back down and face up
Movement across ceilings
Strips of fluorescent lights

"So is this bringing back memories?
Or are we too much for you?"

Echoes from corners yet to be felt through
Dazed and vision hazing
Sedated no more struggling
Ties thrown across chest and forehead forced back
Towards the walls meeting in shadows air
Air hanging thick with calm marked in movement of fingertips

The stage is set to pour it out and fall out
Terrifying serenity
Wondering which one of us will fall first

Shuddering shivering as the pressure lingers
Break thumbs force hands through these ties
But did you miss the connections?
Haven't been here before?
They won't be gone long
Skin will hold the bones together
Crawl down the air duct cinctured aluminum cell
This claustrophobic escape in grasping desperation
Powers down engines wake the shores

Amber...i Love you so much...<333333333..

Ehh..Fuck

Thu, 13 May 2004 01:52:20 GMT

"We all hard as one, but together we raw. And there ain't a nigga that can fuck wit that." - Krayzie Bone

Well...just a lil bit ago...amber said it seems like lately I dont have any time for her. I know thats how it may seem, but I always have time for her. I know I been skatin alot lately...its cause Im goin to new york in a week or so. I gotta be tip top shape. I wana take her to Mal's party friday, but I dont think she wants to go. She never goes to any parties with me. :-( Iunno why. I been gettin pretty hurt lately. Just takin off pieces of skin all over my arms. Bleeding everywhere. It hurts but oh well. I need to get my ankle back into shape. Anyway. Tomorrow I got court at 11:30 in wilmington for speeding through Ambers neighborhood. Fuck them bitches. Next topic. I wana try n pick her up from school. I hope I can. I miss her. The last week has been so fucked up n scary. She kinda broke up with me a few days ago. That shit hurt. I kept tryin to tell her not to...I dont know what Id do without her. I just hope shit doesnt get outta control, and we start goin places with skating, and me not see her barely ever. That would fuck me all up. I love amber to death. I just wish we would stop getting in stupid arguments over nothing. We get in big ass arguments over nothing and get all pissed off. Anyway. I got the new Juvenile and Lil Flip albums. Juvi's album is pretty good. Flips is OK. I really dont feel like puttin anymore in here. I love you amber.<33333333.

no song today. just an I love you...to amber.<333
1.19.04 till forever..i love you baby<333..

What The Fuck

Tue, 11 May 2004 03:11:53 GMT

"Me and my people puffing budda, we in a black Cougar
On Zap Judas, you try to jack us we grab rugers" - Me (From Ludacris ft Lil Flip - Screwed Up)

But yeah. Today was a real bad day. I got fuckin jumped by like 4 guys at dover high while skating. Eddie robbed them a while back, and they found me, and I was alone, so they beat my ass. And I was high as fuck, so I couldnt do shit. I called my boy Josh, and he called up his 3 closest boys. Some shits gona pop off tomorrow. We're gona roll out there, and theyre bringin heat. And theyre gona fuckin run alex n jonnys pockets. If they dont cooperate, theyll prolly get blasted. I know that sounds bad, but they caught me off gaurd, and alone, and no way to defend myself, and I was outnumbered. So theyre gona get payback. Anyway. My ankles feelin better. And I go in wednesday to get my hours for my job. And we're still goin to New York. It was fun while my parents were gone. I got a ticket for not wearin my seatbelt though. It sucks. Im gona tell my mom about it after I come back from NY, so I can still go. And its not that bad, cause my dad never wears his, and I had just got done skating, and I was all hot n sweaty, Ill be able to pay it with my first paycheck anyway so its no thang. I got court Thursday for that thing with ambers neighborhood. Hopefully they wont do nothin and I can walk outta there fine. Me and Amber kinda got into it tonight. She said it doesnt seem like I love her, but I try so hard to show it, I just fuck up sometimes. I dont want anyone else but her, shes everything to me. I love you amber. I really do. Youre my world. I love you so much<3333...

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause Im broken when Im open
And I dont feel like I am strong enough
Cause Im broken when Im lonesome
And I dont feel right when youre gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
Theres so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Amber, i Love You so much..<3333

Iunno

Tue, 04 May 2004 01:09:54 GMT

"Leave you in the middle of nowhere like the letter H" - Copywrite - ????

Sorry Iunno the song. Who cares. Anyway I think Ima start puttin entries in here more often. I been skatin alot lately gettin ready for NY. Im so pumped up. Im ready to skate the fuck outta NY. I watched the IMYTA from last year in NY today on alexs camera. Me and alex were gona paint my skates tonight. Re-paint them rather. Chris Haffey 03 Promodel. Custom jawnskeez. I got a job too. At maple dale country club wit alex. Hes the one that got me the job. I havent started yet. I still needa fill out some paperwork n shit. Hopefully I can start soon. My boy jamie said hes gona hook me up with an indash dvd player too. And a paintjob and bags and all this shit for good prices. Since jamie's heavy into cars n shit. So hopefully if I start this job soon enough, I can start buying shit through jamie for my truck, and get shit done quicker. I dont really know what to write about in here. I was thinkin about tryna get a new layout done. Maybe a graffiti layout or somethin. Put a Kent piece as my background or whatever. Thatd be hot. ( www.klarkkent.de ) (cheap plug) Haha. Phat site by the way. Me and amber been spendin alotta time together too. I been pickin her up from night school alot, just so I can see her. I love that girl to death. I LOVE YOU AMBER!!!<333333333333333333 And we out..

i wana take this time to dedicate every song that i make
to the woman who takes my breath away i cant believe
she puts up with me please dont leave youre my rock my heart
my reason to live, my lifes the shit youre the reason it is
just let me walk these dogs so we can live in a phat ass crib
have a couple more kids dont ever think i dont want you baby
youre the one that i need and i love you baby
you sacrificed and believed in me, i havent been the best husband
recently, but im just a man, i make mistakes
your hearts my heart every time that it breaks
it hurts me more than it does you, i just thank god i got the chance
to love you, i wana thank ya, youre my girl, along with my world i love you girl
keep doin whatcha doin cause whatcha doin im hopin
cant fix what aint broken, ya smokin
sexy sexy, i love it when you sex me
i dont know what i would do if you left me
and i dont wana find out, im hooked on you
I hope you love me, ill always love you and its true

i love you so much amber<33333333333333333333333

Long Time NO ENTRY

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 01:21:00 GMT

"I sleep so I dont have to feel the truth that you can never be the one person that wont ever forget me." - Armor For Sleep - Dream To Make Believe

Well long time no entry. Shits been kinda hectic the past few months. I got a new truck. 89 Ranger. Just got my cd player installed a few days ago. But its all fucked up now. The truck that is. My brakes are lockin up on me, I gotta get up early and fix it tomorrow morning with pops. Im still with Amber. We've been thru some shit in the past few weeks. But we're working it out and everythings gona be ok. Heres what happened. Im bored as shit thats why Im explaining this and even doing this entry. But anyway. Heres what happened. I was at eddies bonfire about 2 weeks ago. And he had given me a 40 of St Ides. Well I drank that in about an hour by myself. Then he got another one and I drank half of that. Then these girls rissa and geneva come over. Well rissa starts comin onto me and shit. And I dont even remember what happened. Alls I know is it wasnt good. So the next day, I drove up to ambers house. Cause I had to tell her, cause I wanted to be honest, and get ready for the worst. Well I told her. And we got into an argument. And I got all pissed off and left. Got in my truck, burn out thru 2nd gear. And was speeding through her neighborhood. Well then her neighbors called the cops on me. And then theyre tryna take my license till im 18 and shit. So yeah. We decided to go ahead n work things out. Its going good so far. I mean she doesnt trust me, yeah. But I can deal with that. I love her to death. And we can build the trust back up. Cause I dont know what Id do without her. Shes everything to me. She just means so much to me and I dont wana lose her. Everybody wonders why Im still with her after what I did. And alls I can think, is just because I love her, and I regret doing that. Amber if you read this, I want you to know I love you more than anything, and I dont ever wana lose you. I love spending every moment with you. Youre my world<3 I love you<3. But....yeah I know when I go out and skate with the crew, I know in the back of her mind she thinks Im doing something else. But Im not. And I sometimes think the same thing. Like right now, her away msg says "ITS FRIDAY NIGHT-HELL YEAH IM OUT WIT MY GIRLS!" And I know they could be just chillin at one of their houses, but what if theres other guys? And what if amber cheats on ME? Im sayin , I know she wont, and I hope she doesnt ever. But that thought'll always be there. Iunno though, it might go away. I trust her yeah, but its her trusting me thats the problem. I know shes not gona cheat, but if she does, I hope she at least tells me, and doesnt try to hide it...But onto some up and up type shit. Today we had a good session at dover high. I was actually doing alot better. A-L said Im kinda better than justin. And out of everyone in the crew, justin is kinda the worst one, outta chris alex n justin. Im kinda the newbie to the crew I guess you could say. And for A-L to say Im better than justin, it feels good. Cause it feels like I can compete on a-l and chris's level. I just need to learn a few more tricks. Maybe I'll even try and compete in the IMYTA next month in new york. Thatd be phat. I got about a month to get all my tricks solid. We're also goin to Philly next thursday to get some parts and do some skating. Thatll be fun as fuck. And I got a-l's old skates. The Chris Haffey 03's. Shits are fucking godsent. I love them skates. A-L is usin my old Nemesis. He loves em. My brother-in-law erick got a crotch rocket too. And him and my sister broke up. Dont feel like talking about it cause Im too damn lazy. But thats all I feel like puttin in here.

Amber, I love you so much.<3333333

Can i just be something
Somewhere in your room
But you wont notice
Maybe ill be paper
Or books thrown on your floor
Move me when you want to
I'll lay where you put me
In your VCR
If i become a cassete
Or on top of your computer
If thats where i would fit
Then so be it
But things cant be perfect
All the time
That i know
Sometimes we just have to let some things go
I will not say one word
Ill just hang around
I wont annoy you at all
When you move out ill stay
Until im thrown away
But then it wont matter
Things cant be perfect
All the time
That i know
Sometimes we just have to let some things go
because
things cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let somethings go
i promise to stop now
to stop now
i promse to stop now
to stop now
but things cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
things cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
letting go is my life
ill be on my way

amber, i love you more and more everyday<333...

Check It

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 03:17:33 GMT

"i see good parents lovin on so many kids, who the fuck loved me dog? nobody did. so how the hell am i supposed to forgive, and act carin, when i dont give a fuck if they live." - Poverty

Ight in the past few days I been actin weird, or not the same supposedly to some people. My boy just opened my fuckin eyes to what I was doin. I was actin too much like a certain two people. And it all makes sense cause its true. Took me long enough to realize it. But thanks dre. I owe you. Dres my boy. Eddies my boy too. Benny too. Weezy also. Those are my 4 closest friends Ive ever had. And this song I typed up below, is for them. Theyre all prolly gona read this. So guys, thanks for puttin up wit my shit, I owe you guys. Im always there for yall. Nuthin but love. AND ACTUALLY TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS FUCKIN SONG. BASTARDS. <3 If you want, IM me, and Ill send it to yall, its a good song. Its Poverty - Rise From Ruin. Just read it tho. Thanks for your help homies. <3

yo from the moment we met we hit it off like true homies
at each others side cause the streets can get lonely
both of us was strugglin wit troublesome mothers
neither of us had family so we became brothers
everyday wed find different ways to go thru it
it was us against the world and me and you both knew it
they saw it in us, everyone knew we had what it took
starin, actin like they just happened to look
wed walk around late tryna find a place to crash
or think of any scam to try to rake us some cash
people that surrounded us, they constantly depressed us
always tryna see us fail always tryna test us
but one way or another we seemed to make it thru
we knew a couple tricks to the game, we played a few
and now after all of these years, thanks to you
we're gona go from haters, to bein hated too

you always show me love so i give love back
you always stay real and theres nothin above that
whether sunshine or thru the stormy weather
you always had my back thas why ill never forget ya
it feels like whenver i fall you seem to catch me
n whenever i find myself lost you redirect me
no matter what it comes to we hold ties forever
when i rise, you rise, we both rise together

there were times when wed fight and straight up hate each other
and the days wed find ways to make it up to one another
for years we held it down watchin each others back
always prepared when snakes would attack
we had dreams and we knew that we would persue em
werent scared of none of the fakes we saw thru em
rise from ruin, this was our mentality
rise was the fantasy, ruin was our reality
when times were good wed both laugh together
had a little doe, wed spend cash together
when times was hard wed struggle together
get out hit the streets n both hustle together
the bottom line, youre more than a best friend youre family
gave me love when everybody else couldnt stand me
there when the rest of the world wouldnt get near me
when i was most blind, you helped me see clearly

you always show me love so i give love back
you always stay real and theres nothin above that
whether sunshine or thru the stormy weather
you always had my back thas why ill never forget ya
it feels like whenver i fall you seem to catch me
n whenever i find myself lost you redirect me
no matter what it comes to we hold ties forever
when i rise, you rise, we both rise together

i remember spare changin on the street for weed
or tryna find places we could eat for free
youre one of the only people who believed in me
i know the tears are real when you grieve for me
liek that one time, that late night, we crept thru the hood
couldnt find nowhere to go so we slept in the woods
it was freezin, barely had a coat on our back
and we woke up wit hypothermia, haha, remember that?
wed counsel each other thru the few minor glitches
talk each other outta datin gold diggin bitches
we had a few hos, tryna smoke screen us
not understandin the bond we had between us
it was do or die, me and you side by side
any place any time, you ride i ride
if you went anywhere in the world id find you
and i just wana thank lord christ that he designed you

you always show me love so i give love back
you always stay real and theres nothin above that
whether sunshine or thru the stormy weather
you always had my back thas why ill never forget ya
it feels like whenver i fall you seem to catch me
n whenever i find myself lost you redirect me
no matter what it comes to we hold ties forever
when i rise, you rise, we both rise together

amber i love you more than anything<33333333333333333333333333333333333